Wind wreaks havoc over any type of boating. This November has been a very windy month. For us MOBO’s it means staying safely on our moorings sipping mulled wine. For the yotties it is their utopia.
To gauge the level of sea going heroism there has to be a form of measurement. The Met Office has provided a series of guide lines by which to judge the level of bravery of the yacht club navy blue Terry Thomas lookalike blazer wearing heroes. The most popular is the Beaufort Scale.
Force 1 – Light Air
MOBO’s are stretched out on sun pads sipping champagne.
The marina is full of bored yotties going nowhere fast.
Force 2 – Light Breeze
Champagne glasses remain unruffled on the cockpit table.
The marina is still full of yotties going nowhere
Force 3 – Gentle Breeze
A slight rustling of the pages of the Telegraph.
In the marina there is a rumour that the yotties may get their sails out.
Force 4 – Moderate Breeze
Empty champagne bottles are rattling in the galley. Instructs someone to take them to the bottle bank
Yotties are joyfully clambering into full foulies with huge smiles on their faces.
Force 5. – Fresh Breeze
Concern is being expressed that the champagne stored in the bilge might be having its sediment disturbed.
Yotties are excitingly preparing to slip their lines.
Force 6 – Strong Breeze
The Champagne is being shaken… but not stirred.
The marina is half empty. The yotties have gone
Force 7 – High Wind
MOBO’s are back on their moorings because ‘well old chap….frightfully difficult retrieving the champers out of the bilge….nearly spilt some!
Yotties are hauling up their spinnakers with whoops of joy.
Force 8 – Gale
Champagne glasses can no longer stand unaided on the cockpit table…or anywhere else.
Yotties have decided to pull in the washing and tea towels off the stanchion wire in case they fly away.
Force 9 – Severe Gale
Champagne glasses must now be grasped with both hands to prevent spilling
Yotties clamber into harnesses, clip themselves on and hang over the side to balance the boat.
Force 10 – Storm
Two people required to open champers bottles. Very difficult to find mouth.
Yotties have dug out the book on reefing and have added more canvas
Force 11 – Violent Storm
Champers bottles in the bilge will be smashing. Everyone retires to the club bar.
The Yotties who are at the mercy of the ocean and a wildly bucking boat can be heard swearing because the wind keeps blowing the gas out and they can’t get a hot brew.
Force 12 – Hurricane
Best spent in a fallout shelter far away from the sea watching it on the weather channel
Yotties are standing on the top side yelling in unison “Thaaar she blows!!”