Pimp the Bus!

Pimp that Bus

Roger wants to pimp the bus! Before we go any further let me give you the dictionary definition of “Pimp” before you all get the wrong idea and think he is turning the MH into a knocking shop and putting me to work. (Dream on).

pimp | pɪmp 

 verb [[with object] informal make (something) more showy or impressive: he pimped up the car with spoilers and twin-spoke 18-inch alloys.

I ask him what exactly he has in mind, Pimp the bus can be so misconstruded.

Sheep Skin Seat Covers.

Now, I was quite happy with this idea, They would protect our lovely cloth seats, remember we have a large dog of the hairy muddy kind. They would be cool in the summer and warm in the winter. There were a few “no-no’s” though

  • leopard skin – No!
  • tiger skin – No!
  • cow print – Hmmm possible. OK No!

The cream sheepskin covers duly arrive from Amazon and look lovely now they are fitted. However, they moult! So if you are wearing anything dark you look like a Yeti from the back. As a result, the dog hair cartwheeling down the MH it is now joined by clouds of cream faux sheepskin.

Shiny Wing Mirror Covers

This is obviously a “man” thing. Shiny wing mirrors have no purpose other than to look, well, shiny. In hindsight, I actually rather like them. They do have one drawback in as much as they magnify blood-splattered squished insects. We ended up with covers that looked like a prop from the Chainsaw Massacre.

Airhorns and Tarmac Burners.

airhorns

To the uninitiated or those who are not living with a lorry driver, tarmac burners are the slang for the bank of very bright spotlights mounted on the roof above the windscreen. There is normally enough wattage to light up the O2 Arena and enough heat to melt the tarmac in front, hence the name. Airhorns that play “colonel Bogey” or “Dixie” are another lorry driver favourite.

Roger changes his mind when he realises just how much hard work they are going be wiring them in. I have never been so relieved.

Fluffy Mirror Dice

fluffy dice

NO , just plain NO.

No to dogs with nodding heads, No to those stupid dancing flower pot people.

In other words, which part of NO do you not understand?

Windscreen Banner Names

How in gods name did this conversation come up. I have no idea. Anyway, these are usually found on the local boy racer Ford Capri chavmobile. You know, the sun strips that clearly show their names such as Dave – Sharon in just in case they forget who they are. I suggest Smokey – Bandit. But the entire idea goes down like a lead balloon.

You know what, I just dont care. Moving on…..