Mutiny

mutiny

Roger  is the skipper of our  boat which makes me the crew. There are a lot of important tasks and duties that the crew needs to be able to carry out effectively and one of them is to mutiny.

This is an extremely important skill that every sailor needs to know how to do. We’ve all been in those situations where the skipper is being really crabby and getting on your nerves.

The times when the skipper is way too concerned with your inability to tie “bunny knots” and  keeps telling you they are called “bowline knots” not “bunny knots”.   Then he gets really cranky when he can’t untie your “Susie Special” knots which you use instead of the “bunny knots” because they’re much easier to tie but not so easy to untie.

Then there are the days when the skipper gets really pissed off because you forget (again as he likes to point out) to untie the fenders from the boat while we are leaving our moorings and they fall into the water. And it is really his fault because he complained that your “Susie Special” knots couldn’t be untied so you tie the fenders on with knots that do come untied easily. You just can’t win!

Or those days when he asks you to bring him a beer but the boat is all tippy on moving water  so you bang your legs against everything and you get some really giant and very unattractive bruises everywhere.
These are the sort of  days when being able to effectively mutiny really comes in handy. Up until now, I’ve held off with the whole mutiny thing because I didn’t learn it on my RYA  course. It seems like a really important skill. The instructor obviously ran out of time otherwise I’m sure it would have been covered.

But this is all going to change. It is important to keep learning new things when it comes to boating, so I’ve been studying up on the whole mutiny thing. This is what I’ve learned and I am going to share with you because I imagine your skipper really gets on your tits sometimes too.

First make sure you know what the correct definition of “mutiny” is. Some people mistakenly think it is a “conspiracy” or “rebellion” against a superior officer to overthrow them. It isn’t.

It is a way to teach your skipper a lesson not to be a knob to the crew.
Besides your skipper isn’t really superior. A smart crew just lets him think he is so that he feels important and does all the hard jobs like hoist the anchor.

How To Mutiny

  1. The tried and true method is pushing your skipper overboard and then motoring away as fast as you can. Make sure your skipper can swim first. Otherwise, it is just plain mean.
  2.  When the skipper is in the dinghy and waiting for you to get in, you can just untie the tender (assuming it isn’t tied on with an “Susie Special” knot) and let him drift away.
  3. Get some help. It is much easier to mutiny if you have some co-conspirators. I’m the only crew member on our boat and I think it would be much easier to mutiny if I had some help.
  4. Get one person to lure the skipper into a false sense of security and one person to helm the boat in order to make a speedy get away. If you want to help, just lurk around on L pontoon at Universal Marina down towards the bottom end. That’s where we keep our boat. I’ll distract Roger and you can hide down below when he isn’t looking. Then we can “surprise” him. It will be fun.
  5. Make up a story to tell your skipper’s friends  when they call looking for him. It is important to be prepared with a convincing story otherwise they might become suspicious and call the police. I’m going to go with something along the lines of: “He is in the shower and says to take a message.”
  6. Watch some inspirational movies about successful mutinies. “Mutiny on the Bounty” springs to mind.
  7. Take notes and photos during the mutiny. You do have a blog to update and it is important to document these things.

Re-read steps 1  and 2. Do not take notes or photos and do not update your blog. Otherwise, they might use this as evidence to hold you without bail.

Bunnie Knots

If you are all wondering why I call bowline knots “bunnie knots” its because its the only way I can remember on how to tie one.

First a loop is made near the end of the rope, which will act as the rabbit’s hole. Then the “rabbit” comes up the hole, goes round the tree right to left, then back down the hole. This can be taught to children with the rhyme: “Up through the rabbit hole, round the big tree; down through the rabbit hole and off goes he

Bunnie Knots!