Boat maintenance is a difficult area that can be approached in one of two ways. Do it yourself, or find a decent therefore a horrendously expensive marine engineer.
Sometimes, maintaining items can cause problems. Sometimes what the eye doesn’t see is best left alone is the best philosophy.
Bilges are nasty. They are the bits that exist under the floor boards. Anything that gets spilled or wet on board, such as champagne, gin or wine, will eventually find itself making its way to the lowest part of the boat, where an electric pump will disgorge the offending liquids into the sea via a one way valve in the side. That is the theory. One of the most annoying aspects of boating is the inability to trace the source of accumulating liquids in the bilge.
Diagnosing the cause can take logic and skill… Have you struck a rock and is there a hole in the bottom? Fishes swimming in the saloon are a clue.
Have you overloaded the boat with crates of fine wines and she is sailing low in the water? If so, inflating the tender and transferring some of the offending crates may well be action enough to solve the problem. Drinking the wine will invariably be too little too late.
So this is the procedure to follow if you fail to diagnose the problem:
- Take to life raft and enjoy the Chateauneuf de pape 1928.
- Put out the obligatory Mayday call.
- Ask that the Lifesaving services take their time, a good vintage wine should not be rushed
- A further suggestion that the rescue helicopter approaches carefully to avoid a sediment raising in the rotor downwash will ensure your wine stays perfect.
Yotties sneer at engines. The comment at the club bar that yours is a 12 cylinder, 84 valve, twin cam, 2000 horse power diesel engine, powered by bio-green recycled McDonald chip oil, will invariably receive a look of disdain from the moustachioed Terry Thomas lookalike perched next to you at the bar.
Sarcastic remarks such as: ‘Drake never needed an engine”, “Nelson beat the Frogs without an engine”, they were real sailors they were” and “mines a triple Bombay Sapphire”, will wing it in your direction. In one sense he is right….when they stop unexpectedly they can be expensive, and a right pain. Motoring across the path of a rapidly approaching super tanker off Southampton Water when all goes silent is a a scary experience in its own right.
There are several options, only one correct.
- Put out your fenders
- Inflate the tender, attach the outboard, and call Sea Start on the mobile.
- Cover your ears with your hands and sing laa laaaa laaaaaa laaaaaaa at the top of your voice
The solution is plain. Place your hands over your ears and sing VERY loudly. This will drown out the 1000 decibel horn the tanker is now blowing frantically and will protect you from hearing your expensive, and precious boat smash to smithereens when 100,000 tonnes hits it.
So it is worth spending time and money on engine maintenance.
Firstly locate where the engine is, not always as straight forward as it sounds. Normally buried under abandoned deck chairs, oily rags and discarded antifreeze containers in a dark and dank hole in the floor. Always make sure that you have enough fuel on board. Years of experience has shown that fuel is vital for the reliable running of engines. Finally oil. All engines require oil. With these basics in mind, there should never be problems with the engine.
For those not familiar with the term “sacrificial anodes” they are large lumps of zinc designed to fizz away to bugger all. No young lambs being slaughtered on a high alter in sight. The truth is the only thing sacrificed is your bank account.
Why pay £80 for 5 lumps of metal I hear you ask especially if you happy for them to dissolve into thin air, Well salt water is corrosive. It loves nothing more than to try and eat your expensive underwater engine bits. The idea is that salt water attacks the anodes instead of destroying your more prized prop, trim tabs, engine legs and shafts. Therefore are high on any maintenance list.
Often over looked, one of the most basic items that will need maintaining are light bulbs.Its a fiddly job as boat bulbs tend to be finger-nail sized, with two lethal prongs at the base.
The dangers in the changing them are many. Firstly, on finding that a bulb has failed, the question is, are there many more providing enough light that the changing of the failed bulb can be delayed. They are usually located in hard to reach places that require half the boat dismantling to get to them. An attempt will require hacking through the bulb cover to reach the failed bulb. I found that a screwdriver and hammer sometimes helps but is rarely successful. After 3 destroyed bulb covers, and holes in the ceiling lining, I twisted the cover, which unscrewed with ease.
Once you have removed a 5 or a 10 watt bulb, do not be tempted to replace it with a 20-watt bulb.
Not unless you have maintained the smoke alarm and fire extinguisher